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He doesn't want to tell the child's mother, because it might put her in a bad mood, and he's "tired of that." He feels that it could affect the relationship that he has with his child. You say that you want him to have a "good relationship," but that has to be wanted by this mother too. I think that you might be rushing marriage with him.

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There’s no one more resistant to being empathized with or more prone to call attempts to do so “patronizing” than the bitter lonely guy, especially when women try to do it but even when other nerdy guys try to reach out. Nerdlove and the founders of the Good Men Project spend huge chunks of their lives trying to help nerdy guys, but still get regularly blasted with extreme vitriol as “feminist SJWs” by said nerdy guys.

I’ve tried to write sympathetically about this stuff in the past: the guilt, the shame, the constant feelings of inadequacy.

Many women will they like nice guys but frequently go out with bad boys. And that confusion definitely does not improve communication.

But here is someone she quoted from the Seattle Post- Intelligencer who had no problem putting it explicitly:"Sorry ladies.

And he concludes as a result of this that feminism is a destructive force for men like him, that the bias of the world is tilted in favor of women and women’s issues because everyone is talking about how to help victims of harassment and sexual assault and no one is talking about how to help him. It seems in every group of nerdy guys I’ve known there’s one guy who’s trapped in a feedback loop of anxiety and self-loathing when it comes to women that goes around and around in circles.

Feminists on the Internet have tried to respond to Aaronson’s piece, some sympathetically, some less so.Indeed, part of the reason I am so determined to write and speak up and be an activist is a shamefaced admission of how lucky I’ve been to get away from where I was a few short years ago, how amazing a turning point 2014 was for me while being a terrible year for everyone else.The viral meme that inaugurated 2015 as the New Year of the Bitter Male Nerd is MIT professor Scott Aaronson leaving an emotionally vulnerable comment on his blog during a heated argument about misogyny and sexual harassment in the STEM community.When I was in my early 20’s, dateless and going through life alone, I also felt bitter and resentful towards women.I got rejected a lot, I was lonely, and this frustration came out in the form of “women are all bitches, and only date losers.” I played more and more videogames, and interacted less and less with women, in order to distance myself from the pain.A few months back, I was at a bar with some friends, and we were talking about girls. When I got home, I wondered at my strong response, and sat down to think about why I was affected so much by this idiot’s babbling.

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