Congolese women dating

They feel like failures and the only way they can deal with it is to reject their wife and start over." This is part of the damage that has been caused by people like Emmanuel, a former child soldier who is now 22 years old. Emmanuel says that they raped to show their anger with the authorities for neglecting them. They are getting some form of pleasure out of it and it has nothing to do with fighting for a cause." Sexual violence is used as a weapon of war and with extraordinary brutality: Gang rape is commonplace; and objects such as gun butts are sometimes used."Soldiers or rebels usually rape because we stay in isolated places and we don't get our pay - even if it can come, it doesn't come on time. At a centre in the main eastern Congolese town of Goma, where rape survivors are brought from various villages for medical attention, 57 women are singing and dancing to the beat of a drum.

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"After living for a long time in the forest, you don't see women and so if one woman shows up then all of us, we profit." Weapon of war But Congolese women's rights activist and vice-president of the Women's International League for Peace and Freedom, Marie-Claire Faray argues that men like Emmanuel are taking advantage of the vulnerability of women. Their ululations and agile dancing mask their fear. Cold and emotionless In one of the rooms, a heavy foul smell suffocates the air. Some of them are suffering from fistula whose manifestation is the uncontrollable passage of urine and in some cases, faeces. Her experiences exemplify this complex war raging against women. It got to a point where I did not feel pain.'' They fed her when they wished and gave her water from their gumboots to drink. The rebels said she would be set free once she had given birth. I felt that if I didn't have sex then I would get sick.

At first impression, it gives the impression of a toilet that is not clean. She was abducted by 10 rebels from the Interahamwe group accused of carrying out the genocide in neighbouring Rwanda. ''One day they tied me to a tree and tried to pull the baby out. it just kept flowing.'' She says she can no longer feel pain and relates all this in a detached manner - cold and emotionless - and then ties a colourful wraparound around her waist and walks away. "She left without crying but as she was leaving she said she would denounce me.

''The rebel leader asked me two things: 'Do you want us to be your husbands? '"Congolese mother-of-eight Clementine speaks in a quiet and hesitant voice: "I chose to be raped." She explains: "I told myself, if I tell them that I want to be their wife, they will kill my husband. '" Margot Wallstrom, the UN's special representative on sexual violence in conflict recently said the Democratic Republic of Congo was the "rape capital of the world".

I didn't want my children growing up saying the one that made our father die is our mother." But that sacrifice was not enough. A host of different armed groups roam parts of eastern DR Congo and all are accused of horrific violence against women.

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The Luba are both patrilineal, in that descent, the inheritance of property rights, and the acquisition of citizenship are determined through the father's line, and "patrilocal," in that a man and his wife settle among the members of the husband's paternal lineage.

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