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[Intro - 50 Cent] Just one night, tonight It could be three of us Yeh yeh yeh Girl, we could get it on (Where ya' girlfriend) Girl, we can have a ball (Bring ya' girlfriend) Life's too short to not fuck on the first date No one knows if we're promised tomorrow But if we make love until the next day We'll have the rest of our time to celebrate [Verse 1 - 50 Cent] Four in the morning girl Now I don't wanna talk We've been talking for hours Now you know I wanna fuck Look I don't understand what it Is you don't understand My watch a hundred grand My chain a hundred grand Bitch, I'm a wanted man I say I run New York Cause I do what the fuck I wanna do They know wussup They say my screws are loose I say who cares, you know I'm rich Look I don't have time to blow with a bitch shooting the shit Now maybe you can loosen up and let me go to work So I can whisper in your ear while pulling down your skirt When I get the stroking girl you don't know what to say Quick come quick, girl, I'm gone right away Yeh, you nasty, girl, you nasty And I'm into that, so get at me!

[Hook - 50 Cent] I don't want no good, good, good, good, girl Me, I want a nasty girl Come creep with me Be a freak for me Life's too short to not fuck on the first date No one knows if we're promised tomorrow But if we make love until the next day We'll have the rest of our time to celebrate [Verse 2 - Too Short] I said bitch I wanna fuck you in the worst way Hell yeah, I wanna fuck you on the first date If I don't I say, fuck you on Thursday Cause then I won't want you Watch how fast I dump you But right now I'm infatuated You get to hang with me Girl, you graduated I take you out for drinks and get you tipsy Then I pull my dick out and I say kiss me You're about to laugh ya little panties off You only get one date You better grab these balls They wanna ride in fancy cars That's what bitches do They like to rub it then suck it and lick it too She's a nasty little trap ho slut But I like that shit, so let's fuck Bitch!

We all send our representatives on those dates: the shiny, charming, curated, calculated approximations of who we'd ideally be if we ever got our shit together, which none of us will ever really feel like we have, but maybe in the meantime, our dating representative will lure in some unsuspecting sucker and trick them into loving us, and then by the time they realize the unsightly mess we really are under unflattering light, they'll be too far in and will just stick around because OUT of pure inertia. Like, we are all essentially trying to gently scam every person we've ever been on a date with. Like, you don't want your date the think you're a shitty, negligent parent, but you and nothing we say on a first date is ever what we really mean (except the part where we order more drinks).

Basically, while dating, everyone feels like an ill-advised timeshare property, and we're all just hoping that by time someone realizes we're a faulty wreck that they never should've bought into, it'll feel too complicated and annoying to get out of, so they'll just stick with it. Here are the ways in which single moms, in particular, are filling their dates' heads with bullshit with blissful abandon."Before I got here tonight, I worked a full day (which started with a 6 a.m.

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